BIG POTATO! Keep Childhood Alive and Well!

Okay, I know I already posted today, but I have something that I feel is important swimming around in my head and I feel that it would be a TOTAL CRIME not to post it.

I have a son, Nicolas, who is 3 years old. When I look at his sweet face I often think about how I hope that I don't screw up his childhood the way I feel mine was washed down the toilet.

1. YOUR CHILDREN NEED TO BE CHILDREN

Children are not adults. Their brains are still forming and are learning how to function. When you fight in front of your kids you are breaking apart their health and are causing their brain to be sent messages that may cause them emotional instability and distress for the rest of their life.

2. YOUR CHILDREN AREN'T ADULTS AND THE ADULT DISCUSSION SHOULD BE LEFT TO ADULTS

When you discuss adult issues with your children that are too large for them to understand they could interalize it and try to carry the weight themselves leading to depression. Children are NOT adults and they just don't have the capability to compartmentalize the way adults do. Almost always, it's better to deal with adult issues behind closed doors. If the door can't be closed, or if the damage is already done, PLEASE - get your child into counseling immediately!!!! Safety is key and protecting your child from any future damage is imparative.

3. TRY TO CONTROL THE OUTBURSTS OF DISFUNCTIONAL BEHAVIOR/YELLING/FIGHTING

If there is a parent in the home with an anger issue you would be surprised as to how deeply that can affect your child. Get that person into counseling, or get your child away from that person for their own safety.

I AM A PRIME EXAMPLE. Please, allow me to share.

CAUSE: My dad does not keep his cool over certain things. There are triggers around sometimes (conversation, what's on TV, etc.) that can set him off. My dad will go into a rage until someone makes him leave, or he has a walk to calm down.

My parents also fought in front of me when I was a kid....a lot.

EFFECT: Today, as the result of being around so much anger and disfunction, I have a hard time keeping my own cool. Sometimes I will feel really, really mad. When I feel this way I often have to sit alone and have a nervous breakdown, crying uncontrollably, or I get in a fight with someone about something stupid. Sometimes, it's both. I also have a lot of anxiety and I have a hard time expressing myself correctly in certain situations.

I am happy to say that it used to be much, much worse and I have been able to work through a lot of issues but not without a lot of (sometimes confusing) counseling.

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Listen, I know I'm not a doctor. I'm not your boss and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm only saying that based on my own personal experience it's better to try to do good by our kids what was not once done well for us. If you're not sure what to do, or if what you're doing is right, I would encourage you to read some books about childhood development. Right now I'm reading a book called "Bringing Up Boys" by James Dobson. He also has a book out about raising girls.

I would also encourage you to seek out several sources of information. We live in the internet age and there is a rainbow of information out there. Try to find out the facts and use your own deductive reasoning. God gave you a brain, after all!

With so many social problems in America this is a BIG POTATO and I hope you're listening. Take care of your Children. They are our future and your legacy.

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